First Date Tips, Feeling Complete on Your Own, and Exploring Sobriety | E43 Cara Hays

After college, Cara Hays found herself battling with two identities. Her future self that prioritized her values and her past self that continued to distract with bad habits.

One day Cara decided it was time to look forward without looking back and she made a commitment with herself to accelerate that decision.

For the next 6 months, Cara decided to say no to drinking and dating. Two areas where she knew a hard stop would give her clarity. On top of that, each month she’d focus on another area of her life that needed attention.

At the time, this commitment didn’t have a name but it became known as 6 Months of Me and this time period fundamentally changed the perception Cara had of herself.

I can’t wait for you to hear more of her story. We get into a lot of fun details like why Cara started a single girl bucket list, first date tips that I think are genius, and Cara’s exploration on being “sober curious.”

Show Notes:

[2:38] Cara’s relationship with her younger self

[12:30] How Cara’s first 6 Months of Me lead to self-love

[16:22] Single girl bucket list

[21:33] How to stay motivated while dating

[23:53] First Date Tips & Parameters

[29:32] Dating Apps

[34:37] How to know when it is the right time to start dating again

[39:01] Cara’s decision to go from “the shot girl” to sober curious

Favorite Quotes:

[22:53] “I definitely got down on myself but I was so proud that I wasn’t falling back into a relationship that wasn’t right for me.”

[0:00] “I believe you have to learn how to love yourself and be alone before you can ask someone to love you.”

[47:54] “There were times I went to parties and I didn’t know what to do because I was sober.”

[55:15] “You either find love or you find a lesson.”

More of Cara:

Instagram: @carahays

More of Justin & The Struggle is Real:

Show Notes:



Apple Podcast:


Published by gdeimz

photog | artist | adventurer | creative 📸gaby deimeke photography

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